When things go wrong, think and problem solve instead of just reacting
Yes, cry, scream - do what you need to get your emotions out of the way, and then get down to business:
solve the problem at hand
Yes I know we all have emotions and they can be overwhelming, but as I shared in an article "Complaining" that these acts of ventilating though it can be cathartic and seemingly helpful when done in moderation...
...but when taken out of hand, it can become and be a nasty bad habit that is a vicious cycle of negativity and helplessness.
Yes, emotions are good. Yes, communications is good...but I'd like to highlight the importance of moderation and functional progress.
When is it not good to ventilate/react?
when it takes up more than 5 minutes or up to 5% of your working day
when it gets in the way of you actually participating in life
when your friends are either only negative/complainers/reactors
when your relationships become moreso negative
when it isn't appropriate eg its a happy event, or a funeral, or something where it doesn't fit in
the problem is because it's addictive and habitual
I love habits and routines.
GOOD habits and routines allows us to progress, grow and have fun.
BAD habits and routines, on the other hand, helps us to regress, ungrow and take fun in bad/negative stuff.
It's like this:
say I develop a habit of walking 30 minutes a day and drinking only plain water or unsweetened drinks versus me developing a habit of only sitting down and drinking 1-2 cans of sweetened drinks a day
or when someone makes a mistake or was particularly having a bad day and it was projected to me; I harp on that for the rest of my day (and maybe life) and whenever I see the person I will always think that he/she is nasty...as opposed to me saying "looks like you're having a tough day today, hope it gets better"
What do you think?
The real problem is truly:
People who focus on complaining/venting/etc AREN'T AWARE that they're doing it ie they think it's normal when it's not good or normal
People who are aware but DON'T KNOW how to change it
People who are aware and DON'T CARE (if this is you...please go away).
I find the best way to get rid of a bad habit is not to destroy it (too hard man), but instead, to REPLACE it with something better, easier and with good/better outcomes that makes me happier.
how to develop problem solving approach to dealing with problems
I take a very simple 4 step approach to deal with setbacks, pain, personal attacks:
CLARIFY: is this targeted at me? Sometimes people, when in bad moods, just flare up at anyone and anything that moves. So when it's not targeted at me but I was just nearby, I try to just ignore and walk away.
QUALIFY: if it's really targeted at me...is it justified? Is it worth my time? If yes, I set a time limit of say 5 min for simple problems and up to 1 hour for complex problems just to wallow.
HOW TO PROGRESS: so once step 1 and 2 is done, then I actually do the old school way: understand the problem, what caused it, and what are the potential solutions for it
EXECUTE: after weighing out the solutions, it's time to execute on the best decisions, then move on.
And that's it.
This is a very general framework that can be applied to most situations in life, be it relationships, finance/money, career, passive income and more.
The real challenges are:
awareness of it
taking time to think and problem solve
executing on them consistently despite being busy/no motivation
join me in intuitive, loving, gentle and good success and self mastery that actually matter. no hype. no bullshit.
Hang around here for some time, you'd see that I don't
well with hype or bullshit. I can smell that typically a mile a way, and
I hate that shit too.
I've been working on myself and on
NigelChua.com for years, since 2006, and only in late 2019 I started to
focus on intuitive and loving leadership, entreprenership and personal
Here are some areas that I work on a consistent, ongoing basis.
I've been a premium member of Wealthy Affiliate since 2015 and there are a number of pros to be with them, which you can read at my Wealthy Affiliate review here.
One of my favorite points of WA is that they have a try-before-you-buy forever-free membership which you can sign up here for free. No credit card needed.
#2 Publish/Write Kindle Books For Recurring Royalty Passive Income
Kindle Money Mastery 2.0 is comfortably and confidently the best affordable Amazon Kindle Publishing Training Program Since 2013. It provides you a hand-holded step-by-step video training on how to write and publish a Kindle book in 24 hours or less.
Billionaires are investing in precious
metals and cryptocurrency such as Richard Branson, Peter Thiel, Eric
Schmidt, Michael Novogratz and not to mention scores of very smart
people and multi-millionaires like Tim Ferriss. I too am investing in
NigelChua.com has affiliate links which means I get paid a commission if you purchase a solution or product through my links (paid by the vendor) - thank you for your support and love. There are other ways to support / donate too.
Search In NigelChua
Hello, and welcome to NigelChua.com!
I'm the founder and writer of this site as well as senior hand therapist and director at Phoenix Rehab Group (phoenixrehabgroup.com).
Also husband, father, Christian, entrepreneur and dividend stock investor.
Link To Us!
- If you've enjoyed any of the articles here, I'll really appreciate
your help if you could link to the specific post/article/homepage from
your website, blog, LinkedIn or social media accounts such as
FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram etc - this will help us to grow and serve
you better - thank you! =)
Note/Disclaimer: The information in this blog/forum/comments is distributed on an "As Is'' basis,
without warranty of any kind. The site owner may have a financial
relationship with some of the companies or products mentioned on the
blog. This blog is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates
Program and other affiliate programs, a means
for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising. Advertisement does not imply endorsement. Information might
not be completely comprehensive and some readers may want to consult
additional sources. This blog/forum does not contain professional
advice. For professional advice, consult a professional. By reading this
blog/forum/comments you acknowledge full responsibility for your actions with
respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or
indirectly in connection with the blog/forum.