I just realized, after looking back at the last twelve months of my life, I had been depressed, down and out. Despite me having a cheerful disposition, vocalizing optimistic words and statements, and walking as though I'm on top of the world, in actual fact and totality, I was shaken.
I'm in a reflective and introspective state of being today, and it may seem rather depressing and down-ish, but bear with me. I think it's because of the last few ventures and opportunities that I took, when they ended not in the way I liked, and not just one, but all in all four in the last 3 years (2 were partnership ventures, 2 were business expansion plans that faced extreme challenges and difficulties).
I realized that I had become afraid. Afraid of making choices, afraid of making decisions that may fail...again. Maybe I'm afraid we'll run too short of money, or run to a dead end. Now these are what has happened in the last 36 months, the actual events and the memories evoked.
After a few weeks of restarting this website with a renewed vision for it, as I started ruminating on events, and evaluating on the soundness and unsoundness of previous decisions and agreements taken, I've taken placed strategies into place and had taken massive actions to undo many of the agreement that needs to be undone (note: not all agreements can be undone so easily, such as marriages), and had sown the seeds of exiting and re-starting.
Yet, today, right at this moment, I am feeling much, much, much more positive that our new plans and strategy for 2012 and beyond will be even greater and better than whatever we had done before in the past 3 years, and for that, I thank the great Creator God, my loving and patient wife, my parents and parent-in-laws for their support and wisdom, friends who stood by our side, doctors and patients who believes in us. It's a great journey, and we're ramping it up higher than before!
As I asked myself the power questions, both the morning and evening ones, I also asked myself the meaning and purpose questions, and all the questions had renewed my sense of self, self-confidence and belief. Don't let your past govern your future. Break all old and negative past beliefs and experiences, and believe that your future can and will be greater than all you experienced before.
As one of my friends and mentor will say: "It can only be good."
And so I say to you: "It can only be good."