Dealing With The Curt



I thought you're a big idea person - how could you not see this?"

This was one of the ending words of a ex-business partner of mine, when I informed them of my decision to pull out of the venture we were in together. It was a creative start-up, and it was fun and exciting with their projects...but as my own business grew, my own commitments grew.

However, these questions of if I was doing okay, or congratulations was not in store - what was more in store for me was a question of my lack of vision for their company. A company of which I managed the operations and finances for, and even injected capital for them to pursue building their health project.

This was not seen anymore, apparently.

I had, for several chances, think about answering the question that was posed to me, in a manner that I believed that I will regret saying, so I choose to keep quiet.

I decided to take the stance of "it's not worth my time explaining or getting worked up over."

Hmm.

Actually, this approach works wonders for me, as I find that I really don't have to deal with people and their own subjective realities, for those realities really reflect their inner state more than mine, and I'm not responsible for their thoughts and feelings.

I often first try to remain cool and tell myself that it's not personal to me, as I know if I blow my top it doesn't really help the situation. I try to be as objective as possible (see the three guiding questions that help me objectify)

  1. Is this person important? Such that I need to pay attention to his or her words? This shows the level of relationship or proximity.

  2. Does his or her words carry weight? Is he or she a specialist is that area of feedback? Or is it just another naysayer? This shows the level of evidence of content that is mentioned.

  3. Does this matter in five years time? This gives a timeline perspective of the entire event.

Once I've assessed these three questions, I know how to respond, and if I even need to respond to the person who took offense. Most of the time, our discomfort also shows our level of comfort with people who try to intimidate or irritate us.

Then what I do is usually to opt out of the conversation as I don't wish to waste time negotiating or discussing with people that don't make sense...unless I have to, then I will try to use a more thought-through response, ensure that I am firm with my responses, and take it from there.

Where to next?

  1. Back to NigelChua Home Page

  2. Contact me by email at (even just to say hi) nigel@nigelchua.com

  3. See the latest articles and updates at the blog

  4. Check out all the resources and tools I use

  5. See my top two resources below: Wealthy Affiliate (left) and Solo Build It (right) - both have very specific strengths and functions

Wealthy affiliate: #1 to learn how to build profitable wordpress online businesses

Wealthy Affiliate is my recommended for WordPress online businesses.

I've been a premium member of Wealthy Affiliate since 2015 and there are a number of pros to be with them, which you can read at my Wealthy Affiliate review here.

One of my favorite points of WA is that they have a try-before-you-buy forever-free membership which you can sign up here for free. No credit card needed.

solo build it (sbi): #1 for offline businesses local search engine ranking, traffic and lead generation

Solo Build It (SBI) is my #1 tool for local search engine optimization (SEO) domination as well for online marketing which I've been using since 2010 personally for multiple projects.

Read why I chose Solo Build It...

...and more importantly, why I still stay with Solo Build It (SBI) till today and use them exclusively for all my SEO, traffic and e-lead generation.


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#1 Recommended Online Business University And Platform

Name: Wealthy Affiliate

Scoring: 96%

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I've been a premium Wealthy Affiliate member since 2015, read my Wealthy Affiliate Review here.

I recommend them if you want to learn how to make money online.

Better still, you can try Wealthy Affiliate for free here.



Solo Build it (SBI)

Solo Build It!

Solo Build It is my #1 tool for local search engine optimization (SEO) domination as well for online marketing which I've been using since 2010 personally for multiple projects.

Read why I chose Solo Build It...and more importantly, why I still stay with Solo Build It (SBI) till today and use them exclusively for all my SEO, traffic and e-lead generation.



GetResponse Email Marketing

Building a relationship with your audience, customers and readers are highly important for any offline and online business, and I recommend GetResponse for their services, great price, ease-of-use.

Try GetResponse today (1st month free)

Bonus: learn how to use an email autoresponder



Google Suite

Google Suite (GSuite) is THE recommended Google tools for email, calendar, documents, sheets - for productivity  and communication.

GSuite/GMail one month free trial available here.



Shopify

Shopify has made it very easy to start an ecommerce business, solving most of the tech and logistical barriers and even has product suppliers with Oberlo!

Try Shopify today

Books I'm Reading

Holy Bible

Tribe Of Mentors

Seneca Letters From A Stoic

Seneca On The Shortness Of Life

See my full book/read list here.

Blogs I Follow

Tim Ferriss

Pat Flynn

Tony Robbins

Ramit Sethi

Richard Branson