In the last few years, I’ve been noticing a trend of people who are around me, that they seem to struggle with hard times, uncertainties, bad times and bad events – they seem to be gripped and terrorized by pain (or potential pain), and repeat the image, story, movie again and again and again in their hearts and minds, making them feel more and more powerless, negative, sad and helpless.
Originally this article meant to just target those who are older than me, but upon thinking more, I realized that many people regardless of age, from the young to the old, suffer from this.
I am not saying that I do not have anything I regret, or that I don’t have pains. Come on. You cut me, I bleed, like everyone else. The only difference is that when I notice the pain/blood, I take actions to ensure that the wound is cleaned, covered, no infections and that the wound heals well, and I train to ensure that the body part functions 100% like before – this is likely lessons I’ve taken from the world of rehabilitation.
It’s exactly as that.
But many people seem to look at the injury/pain/blood, and just scream at the sight, look at the injury/pain/blood, and scream at the sight – repeating this cycle again and again. Personally, I try not to, because the wound HAS to be tended to, and sometimes in certain injuries, things are like chaotic randomness.
Sometimes some people get injured. Some die. Many good people. Many bad people. In the line of medical, it’s not often that we focus on “why me/why did it happen” but we focus on “what was the function before, let’s get this sorted now and let’s get them back to 100% before the incident/injury”.
Of course, it’s easier in medical when it’s just the patient, and if the patient is very independent and understands what needs to be done, needs to be done. It’s another thing for the family members who feel very helpless, and it’s the same for others – when we lose a loved one because of death, nothing will ever bring them back.
Yes we cry.
And nothing will change the fact that they’re gone.
Perhaps everyone grieve/cope/handle things in their own time. Perhaps some do it better. Perhaps some don’t.
In my short time on earth, I feel and think and believe that everything needs to be balanced to be appreciated, hence the need for bittersweets. Bittersweets are as it is, being both bitter and sweet at the same time, and they’re like medicine – bad to the taste but good for us. Often, incidences in our lives, especially the most bittersweet ones, are the ones that shape us the most.
However, I do not ask “why do I get this bittersweets?” – I try to focus on the differences of the bitterness versus the sweetness, and how that feels and is, to me. Instead of a “why me/etc”, I take on the approach of “this bittersweet is for me to taste”.
But that’s me handling life, problems, good stuffs and bad stuffs.
I hope that if you’re someone who’s eating some bittersweets now, savor the taste, the feeling, the experience. Cry where you need, bawl even. But often times, bittersweets can come only once in your lifetime, so when they come to me, I savor and give thanks to God for the sweetness and the bitterness that comes along with it.
Pa, I miss you.