Papa, It’s Close To A Year Now.

Time really flies.

Papa, you were called to the Lord on 24th May 2014. Today is already 16th April 2015 – about 38 days to the anniversary of you being called away.

11 months had already gone by, so quickly.

I still remember the moments of being in the ICU with you. Hearing the beeps and seeing the monitor screen.

I remember fondly my silent lunch with you, although at that time, I didn’t know that’d be my last meal with you. You were struggling to breath and coughing, and I sat near to you, to give you hot water to drink to soothe your cough.

I remember how I managed to stop my clinics and patients so I can be with you, during those moments. Those moments, I was MOST GLAD that I had a business that I can put on hold for me, and yet it could run without me, without me worrying about the business.

I remember, how we scarily brought you over to Gleneagles Hospital for better medical attention, the ups and downs in the ambulance, the worries in my heart and mind as I kept looking back to you in the ambulance as I sat in the front. I was so, so, so worried for your breathing. We didn’t sleep the entire night (and the nights before). Only after the operation to install the heart-lung device could I rest better. But still, rest was never there in the ICU. Occasional comfort, maybe, but oh, how heavy my heart.

I remember, your last words to me was when I complained to you that I was worried about opportunity costs as I went to travel with Louise (our 5-year-delayed honeymoon), and you assured me to enjoy a little, seeing how hard we had worked.

I remember, wherever I went in New Zealand, I thought about you, and I kept thinking you’d like it there in New Zealand, and made it my resolve to bring you to New Zealand in 2015. I remember I told you that I’d like to bring you there in 2015.

But you…never answered.

Sometimes, I feel as though you had known somehow that the Lord would call you soon during that time.

I miss you so, so much, old man. I do. I’ll see you later in heaven, when it’s time.

Until then, continue watching over me, praying over me – I’ll do you proud. Much has grown and changed over the past one year, so much growth and interesting developments. I’m really enjoying myself here, and I’ll do my best to glorify Jesus and point as many in His directions as I can, whilst changing the marketplace to glorify Him.

 

Nigel, how long will you carry your children until?

This question was raised up by my sister who was with me, and we were walking around in Ngee Ann City and we saw a girl, looks about 5 years old, who wanted her dad to pick her up. So she kept raising both hands in sign for him to pick her up, for a couple of times, and finally he did and she held her hands around his neck and was laying her face on his back/neck contently.

My answer is this:

For as long as I physically can; I would love to carry all my children for as long as I can.

It’s a joy to carry them, and for them to want to be carried, still. I love every moment, the harsh lack of sleep, to the twinkle in their eyes and their smiles and cries.

I. Love. It.

The cause for higher effectiveness

Following an earlier post of “Tight For Time“, following the birth of my daughter Olivia, I do find that much, much more of my time needs to be shifted to accommodate the care of her, which is non-negotiable to me.

It’s not only a must, but it’s at the same time, something I both want to do and actually enjoy doing; and I want to also help my amazing wife, who’s an amazing mother and wife to me. By helping out more, I can provide temporary relief for her too.

All this leads to the necessity for me to increase my effectiveness as a person, business owner and investor, and I find myself culling more and more activities that are likely to be distractions and non-core, as I focus more and more on more-core activities.

Interestingly, results in business and life are still growing and have not stalled nor stagnated during this time, and I’m seeing points that I can be more focused on doing just the most core things and delegate or ignore the rest.

Before the birth of my children, I used to think shorter term, perhaps in the realm of 3-5 years, and in more simplicity. After the birth of my first daughter, I find myself thinking and visualizing up to 20 and 30 years ahead, to anticipate, plan and put things in place in advance of things that is potentially to come.

Which gives rise to me looking at investing for the long term as well as looking to build and buy more businesses that are evergreen, on top of building Urbanrehab to the next level and beyond.

Perhaps this is what fatherhood does to a man.

 

 

I. Like. It.

Dreams of Papa

My older brother brought an interesting point up when I shared the recent funny dream that I had with papa, and showed the differences in the earlier dream I had with papa.

He showed me how in my earlier dream with papa, the location was in a dry desert place, with lots of sparseness and sand; whereas in this recent dream, it was more like a resort island, with lots of lush greenery, water, and very good looking people (note: there was no hanky-panky despite me remembering that many of the people were bikini- and burms-clad – most of them looks like they were just having a good time.

One of the dreams I had showed papa silently smiling too, with him highlighting Jesus who’s just beside him.

And my sister recently had a similar dream of seeing papa in an island as well, and there was a current family picture of  all of us in the foreground, and he too, was in the picture, smiling, but he was slightly far off, though he’s still facing the front, and smiling.

It’s interesting.

Papa, I miss you. We all do.