Silent Vision Of A Smiling Papa

During the deepest part of worship in City Harvest Church, as my hands were lifted up in worship, and eyes close and my heart was sensitive to the things of the spirit, I saw a vision.

In that vision, I saw both Jesus and my recently-called-to-heaven papa.

Jesus was standing to papa’s front and his right, and again, I don’t know how I knew He’s Jesus in the first place, but I as tried to look at Him, I could see more of a side view of Jesus, and He looked the same as I saw Him in my other dream of papa looking and finding Jesus. They wore the same clothes as in that dream too.

But this closed vision seemed to zoom in more on papa.

IMG-20140529-WA0034Papa looked…super happy.

In this closed vision, papa was switching between smiling from ear-to-ear, to half grins and to a full-fledged toothy grin.

The level of details I could see was pretty high, and I could even see the cheeky glint in his eyes, and that naughty sparkle. Papa looked very, very healthy, with the rose tinge in his cheeks and face.

He looked at his peak physical health, and looks somewhat like he’s around 30-plus to early 40s.

Then I realized that his lips didn’t move at all, he was just alternating between smiling and grinning at me, without stopping. But I could see the love in his eyes.

And that’s when the tears started flowing.

Pa, why don’t you say anything to me?

Don’t you know I miss you?

Don’t you know the last time I spoke to you, we were barely speaking at you had so much trouble breathing, coughing and choking because of your condition? We had a silent lunch, but it’s one of my most treasured memories now.

I miss your voice, your presence, your advices, your so-silent-prayer-that-I-almost-can’t-hear prayers.

I miss touching you, holding your hand, and the way you often harden your body when I hug you and kiss you.

And the tears just kept flowing.

Oh papa, how I miss you so.

So irritating, there I was crying and tearing and missing him, and this man just keeps smiling and grinning at me, with such a soft loving look in his eyes.

Then it dawned on me, papa was standing just slightly behind Jesus. Papa seem to imply that Jesus’ presence and words were way more important that hearing from him (papa), and that Jesus was more than enough for me.

Then this verse came to my mind:

John 14:6 (NKJV)

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

Papa knew…for Jesus is the way, the truth and the light, our savior, our salvation, our greatest shepherd of everything.

Papa knew what is more important, at least from how I perceive what he’s trying to tell me through his actions.

Papa is very wise, and he knows that Jesus is way more important than him, but he wanted to show his presence to me, to assure me that he’s thinking of me and that he’s okay.

The tears kept flowing, I wiped them away but the tears just keep flowing.

Pa, thank you for encouraging me, for bringing me up, and watching over me even when you’re already in heaven.

Don’t worry pa,

Joshua 24:15 (NKJV)

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

As for me and my household, we love the Lord, and will serve and follow Him all the days of our lives, and we will dedicate our lives to teaching others of His love.

Pa, there’s so much I wanna ask and speak to you about, but let’s save the best for last in eternity. In the meantime, keep watching over me, and Jesus and papa, watch me – I’ll do my best and keep doing you proud.

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Growing Pains

I am blessed with a growing company. We are definitely growing in strength of quality and quantity, and with it is growing pains that is associated with a growing company.

On one hand, I am proud that we are able to serve more and more people, as we level up, hire the best therapists we can; on the other hand, we are somewhat victims of our success – my wife, she has never been so tired before.

I am seeing her work 12-hour clinicals, on top of administrative duties and work after. Six days a week. Of course, my job is no easy task as well, requiring similar amount of effort and work.

Sometimes I do wonder that as we grow, are we also growing and creating a monster of a business that just demands more and more of our time? This was initially one of my fundamental concerns, which made me very fearful. I mean, then I was working 7 days per week, and now even though we work less, but seriously, my mind is always attuned to work.

I sleep, breathe, drink, talk, think, love work.

Maybe this is what that grows the business. Our paranoia and work ethics.